The Brain Electric, by Josh Bloom

 

How to describe what seems indescribable.                                                                                                It’s my Achilles’ Heel.                                                                                                                                                                                                                   It’s without warning or restraint,                                                                                                     Stealing myself from me, letting anarchy rule.                                                                           Even when I’m myself again, emotions take control,                                                                                                           They’re a fire inside ready to run wild.                                                                                        Yet, I don’t know how to express them.

Which only leaves questions.                                                                                                      How long? Seconds? Minutes? Hours?                                                                                      What was said?                                                                                                                            What was done?                                                                                                                        Where did it happen?                                                                                                                                Who saw?                                                                                                                               Wanting answers,                                                                                                                           Though I may fear them more,                                                                                                      For what comfort will answers bring?                                                                                                    Answers won’t change the outcome,                                                                                                    Answers won’t change the conditions,                                                                                       Answers won’t settle this burning inside.                                                                                         They’re simply consumed by this void obsession,                                                                                Until I find myself again.

Feeling like a slave,                                                                                                                          Is this living in fear?                                                                                                                       For it’s undetectable, unprovoked,                                                                                           Unrelenting in presenting despair.                                                                                                          And despair weighs in a heavy enemy,                                                                                                             But defeat is no option.                                                                                                                 Too much has been taken to surrender,                                                                                                              And a strength is held that cannot be measured.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        This is merely an obstacle to be overcome,                                                                                                              But, can that obstacle be overcome,                                                                                                                 When that obstacle is myself?

How to describe what seems indescribable?                                                                                                                          An excessive disorderly discharge of cortical nerve cells in the brain,                                                                                                   Like an irregular electric current in a defunct machine.                                                                   It‘s so simple without individuality.