Unexpected Blessing, by Delvonta' Pinkston

Crying in front of fifty or more people at a scholarship banquet wasn’t exactly on my list of things to do when I walked out of the house that morning. What I’d planned to do was meet new people, eat good food, and network with those who I believed could lend me a hand in my goals and endeavors. Even unexpected experiences can have positive influences on the mind. I experienced this myself when I won a scholarship and was required to attend a banquet to honor not only my achievements, but also the achievements of my peers. The scholarship that was given out to everyone was specifically for those who have overcome challenges in life and have continued on the path to success.

I’ve had my fair share of struggles in life, but I’d never known hardships like my fellow peers had gone through. Their stories pulled at my heartstrings like never before. Before I knew it, I was shedding tears for my peers. They had been so brave throughout their bouts with pain and heartbreak. They’d fought valiantly to not be cast away along with those who had given up moments too soon.  Before I knew it, I had shed a few tears for myself as well. I had fought just as valiantly as my fellow recipients. I’d struggled and I’d lost, but had not let my struggles consume me.

As the time came for the recipients to give our speeches, I felt confident and free. I felt confident, because I knew I was not alone. I had found people who could not only relate to my tales of struggles and triumph, but could also understand the courage to act when the odds are stacked against you. I felt free because in that moment I had released the pain that I had held on to for so many years. The time had come to deliver my speech. I started out well. I started by thanking God and the scholarship committee for granting me the scholarship. It went downhill after that.

I thought of all the struggles my fellow recipients and I had to endure, such as homelessness, having a parent addicted to drugs, and having to fight for the right to live your life the way you want. Standing there at that podium, I also thought about all that we had achieved. I realized that the struggles we endured were completely necessary in shaping the people who we had become and the people who we are still developing into. I suddenly became overwhelmed with emotion.  My voice started to crack and quiver. I tried to regain control over my voice and emotions, but the more I tried, the more it worsened. 

It wasn’t long before slam! I felt a jolt of emotion hit me all at once. A waterfall of tears started to pour out of me as I was giving my speech in front of over fifty people at my scholarship banquet. I tried to finish my speech, but the hyperventilation that soon followed made this no small task. One of the scholarship committee members and one of my fellow recipients decided that my crying had gone on for long enough and slowly started to pat and rub my back while I was trying to get the mess of unintelligible words out of my mouth. 

It wasn’t long after they joined me at the podium that I started to think, “Hmm, maybe I should sit down now.”  Two seconds after thinking this, I said a barely audible “thank you” and slowly made my way back to my seat as an overwhelming applause roared throughout the room. My plan of a quick and silent retreat to my seat was foiled as a small line of scholarship committee members were lying in wait to shake my hand. Their words of encouragement echoed against my seemingly overwhelming lack of dignity that I had suffered only a few moments ago.

After overcoming this small army of scholarship committee members, I slowly inched back to my seat, only a few feet away from that anxiety-inducing podium. The individuals occupying my table congratulated me on my tear-inducing speech. I didn’t bother contemplating the judgment of the fifty-plus audience members in the room. For by breaking down the way I had, I had freed myself from unknown burdens. I felt lighter after leaving that podium, because I had let go of pain that had caused me so much misery throughout the years. I am stronger now because I have broken free of the chains of struggles and loss. I left that banquet free from any worries or fears. The pain of my past and the tales of my struggles will forever be etched into that microphone.